p o u r i n g

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Emotions twisting and turning pretending like they are going to form one solid explanation. But they don't. Not lately. And your left with your thoughts running and screaming and laughing. All you want is something solid. But, I guess that isn't always life. One moment it is like this and another moment is like that. Nothing constant, excuse me, few things constant. You look at him and hundreds of feelings start to dance, and run away and your left with something fake. Trying to pretend like you know what you want, but you have no clue. You look at her and you know that everything will be okay even if it isn't supposed to be.. He smiles at you and you know all of the things that should be running through your head so you try and consider, but you can't. She glances your way and you know she is just waiting and watching. I guess it's like that sometimes. People all around not knowing and knowing. Some pretending like they know life, others hiding from it, and others just not caring. But I don't know where I fall. Because I just don't know. Sometimes I like to pretend that life is just life and that whatever happens happens, but as much as I think that, there comes a time when you want to scream- somebody tell me what to do with my life and who to be and who to love and who is going to hurt me and who is going to stay by my side and what should i be and who needs my help and who needs my comfort and when am i going to need to ask for help and am i doing to much or too little and am i making the right choices or do i need to try and go down an entirely different path... Occasionally there are glimpses...occasionally there are answers. But, most of the time there is just the now.