January 15
So many things inside that I want to say.
Moments like these I find the words don't come together.
It's feelings that are in waves.
Words that won't connect.
Yet I find myself here, trying to get you to understand.
Trying to paint a picture for you to see my soul.
Trying to tell you how I feel just so I can have someone to relate to.
It's selfish really.
But no one likes being alone.
Especially souls.
So i'll let you know what it's like to feel.
Unreal.
A limbo that wont stop.
Questioning beliefs.
Spinning in front of you and it won't stop and the feelings keep changing.
Formulating things from the past and the present to create a new you.
I know what it's like to feel.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
About no one in particular.
October 31, 2014
How many thoughts have you sent my way?
I could count the stars before I could count the ones I have sent to you.
Thoughts about the way your eyes shine when you laugh.
Or the way the tone of your voice alters with every few words.
The things you say now becoming memories so I can keep them forever.
Thoughts that drift but eventually come back.
And my thoughts yearn to meet yours.
And my words dancing on my tongue want to soar.
My lips begging to whisper to yours.
I know you better than you think.
I notice you more than you wish.
And your walls are high but i'm not scared of heights.
I'll look at you like no one has before.
Good things can happen, so let them.
Allow the happiness you so freely speak of to transform into reality.
Our reality.
Don't live in comfort.
Live.
How many thoughts have you sent my way?
I could count the stars before I could count the ones I have sent to you.
Thoughts about the way your eyes shine when you laugh.
Or the way the tone of your voice alters with every few words.
The things you say now becoming memories so I can keep them forever.
Thoughts that drift but eventually come back.
And my thoughts yearn to meet yours.
And my words dancing on my tongue want to soar.
My lips begging to whisper to yours.
I know you better than you think.
I notice you more than you wish.
And your walls are high but i'm not scared of heights.
I'll look at you like no one has before.
Good things can happen, so let them.
Allow the happiness you so freely speak of to transform into reality.
Our reality.
Don't live in comfort.
Live.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
i know you know i know you knew.
February 5
pointless
pointless
the words i said blew past you like the wind
heart slowly broke while hope
began to hide
an ending that i wasn't prepared for.
not prepared to stop and inside i knew you weren't either
walls formed and they stayed.
but why? im the one with walls...and for the first time i let them down.
words trapped in your lips.
"sorry's" only mustered.
I threw them away. refused to accept the words I knew you couldn't mean.
these ones weren't true.
you hid. you ran.
no explanation.
just hurt.
just like that.
and you left.
without my heart you so willingly took.
it was different.
so different.
so why didn't you fight?
I know you know.
I know you knew.
i know its not what you wanted.
the words i saved were genuine and real.
not forced.
we were effortless.
shown a side wed always wondered existed.
and now we know it does.
so how can you push it away?
something so meant to be?
Friday, January 31, 2014
chance
January 31, 2014
I think allowing yourself to fall is the hardest part.
To allow yourself to feel what you feel inside.
To put aside your fears, your worries, your doubts--and live.
To give yourself the moments you deserve.
To come to grips with the fact that good is happening.
To have your hopes come to life, right in front of you.
To stop second guessing and to exist in a current state.
And it's a choice to let fear take over, or to let trust take over.
And normally I'd run.
I'd run away and hide, because it's easier that way.
But this time it is different.
And giving someone enough of you to break you is terrifying.
Yet it's exhilarating.
And you exist through it all.
The good, the bad, the misunderstood, the overthought.
Because inside you know that it is worth it.
But the voice keeps coming back.
Giving you another reason to hesitate.
Push it away.
And allow the past and future to collide.
Take that chance.
And learn and grow and be.
I think allowing yourself to fall is the hardest part.
To allow yourself to feel what you feel inside.
To put aside your fears, your worries, your doubts--and live.
To give yourself the moments you deserve.
To come to grips with the fact that good is happening.
To have your hopes come to life, right in front of you.
To stop second guessing and to exist in a current state.
And it's a choice to let fear take over, or to let trust take over.
And normally I'd run.
I'd run away and hide, because it's easier that way.
But this time it is different.
And giving someone enough of you to break you is terrifying.
Yet it's exhilarating.
And you exist through it all.
The good, the bad, the misunderstood, the overthought.
Because inside you know that it is worth it.
But the voice keeps coming back.
Giving you another reason to hesitate.
Push it away.
And allow the past and future to collide.
Take that chance.
And learn and grow and be.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
the key
January 30, 2014
so here is me.
vulnerable, raw, honest.
purely honest.
one of humanities biggest struggles.
and I will be here for a while.
surprising, I know.
but you've shown me a different light.
and you're welcome to stay.
not many people have made it here.
here's an invitation to hear the things people have heard but never listened to.
see the things people have seen but never looked at.
these are all my saved drafts that were never published.
the words written in my soul.
the most simple and complex form of myself.
who I am.
where I have been.
where I desire to go.
and why.
why why why.
here's the key.
here's the key to why.
it's fragile and it's usually hidden.
but you are different.
you are even more different than all the other differents.
so take it and run.
so here is me.
vulnerable, raw, honest.
purely honest.
one of humanities biggest struggles.
and I will be here for a while.
surprising, I know.
but you've shown me a different light.
and you're welcome to stay.
not many people have made it here.
here's an invitation to hear the things people have heard but never listened to.
see the things people have seen but never looked at.
these are all my saved drafts that were never published.
the words written in my soul.
the most simple and complex form of myself.
who I am.
where I have been.
where I desire to go.
and why.
why why why.
here's the key.
here's the key to why.
it's fragile and it's usually hidden.
but you are different.
you are even more different than all the other differents.
so take it and run.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
hidden.
December 15, 2013
maybe it all scares me, so I run. scares me that i'm not like the rest. that the words etched into my beating heart are real and different and so honest. there's so much hidden, so much others can't see, so much disallowance of feeling. like staring into deep, dark, vast, ocean. knowing there is so much life and stories. thoughts and memories. and not being able to grasp it all at once, but just knowing it has been through so much... and it terrifies me to put them on paper lately because they are constantly changing. transforming then becoming solid, and I get comfortable, and then it starts all over again ,leaving me here. vulnerable. because sometimes it is hard to be raw. hard to disagree with what society has deemed a standard. and its hard to keep up. and its hard to want people to see you but keep it inside because of fear. fear of failure. fear of being too compassionate. fear of feeling to the extent that you become broken. again. but there lies in itself a lose lose situation. because, where are you? where are you when the real you was needed? where are you when the person searching for the real you never knows you exist? so you take the walls down, for a few people. just for a test. and it's like laying in a puddle while the cars fly past you, the street lights changing from green to red, words of poetry spilling in and out of you. and the world continues on. nonstop. and you're left breathless and stunned.
maybe it all scares me, so I run. scares me that i'm not like the rest. that the words etched into my beating heart are real and different and so honest. there's so much hidden, so much others can't see, so much disallowance of feeling. like staring into deep, dark, vast, ocean. knowing there is so much life and stories. thoughts and memories. and not being able to grasp it all at once, but just knowing it has been through so much... and it terrifies me to put them on paper lately because they are constantly changing. transforming then becoming solid, and I get comfortable, and then it starts all over again ,leaving me here. vulnerable. because sometimes it is hard to be raw. hard to disagree with what society has deemed a standard. and its hard to keep up. and its hard to want people to see you but keep it inside because of fear. fear of failure. fear of being too compassionate. fear of feeling to the extent that you become broken. again. but there lies in itself a lose lose situation. because, where are you? where are you when the real you was needed? where are you when the person searching for the real you never knows you exist? so you take the walls down, for a few people. just for a test. and it's like laying in a puddle while the cars fly past you, the street lights changing from green to red, words of poetry spilling in and out of you. and the world continues on. nonstop. and you're left breathless and stunned.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
simple as that.
November 21, 2013
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of calm serenity.
when you know that despite your fears, it'll all be okay.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of reassurance.
when you know that despite your fears, you are loved.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of pure rawness.
when you know that despite your fears, it's okay to be real.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of contentment.
when you know that despite your fears, you are where you need to be.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of tranquility.
when you know that despite your fears, you are never alone.
simple as that.
xo
bailey
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of calm serenity.
when you know that despite your fears, it'll all be okay.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of reassurance.
when you know that despite your fears, you are loved.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of pure rawness.
when you know that despite your fears, it's okay to be real.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of contentment.
when you know that despite your fears, you are where you need to be.
simple as that.
take those moments and hold them close,
the moments of tranquility.
when you know that despite your fears, you are never alone.
simple as that.
xo
bailey
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